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What’s the capital of West Dakota?

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Of all the things I regret, not learning to line dance isn’t one of them.

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"When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight."

— Federal Express, 1978 

"Ground will get it there, eventually."

— FedEx, 2014

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This is what you get for thinking the “Ebola Chili” entry at the Texas Chili Cook Off was just a funny name.

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Watching TBS’s 2014 MLB Postseason Pre-Game Show. 
AUGH! I’M CAUGHT IN A TIME PARADOX!
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"Fresno" 1986 mini series "Tastes Like Fresno" opening

Something to tide you Dallas fans over with until the next season.

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Surprise yourself with Botox.™

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"Flerble? Grotch? Thuvert? Menis? Clidoris? Marple? Bepsi? Goga-gola?"

- Suzanne Collins coming up with character names
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John Cleese on Stupidity

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People who believe they have everybody fooled eventually discover they’ve been playing checkers in a world of chess.

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The Sun’s wife must be totally sick and tired of Jimmy Dean sausages by now.

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In North Dakota, it’s pronounced “brool”.

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The crème brûlée milkshake. I chose wisely.

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I’m gonna go shoplifting with Winona Ryder. Anybody want anything?

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Nice try, Walmart.